I recently read an article at http://greatist.com called 27 Ways to Get More Sh!t Done. Which inspired me to come up with my own list..”27 Ways to Get Sh&t Done, Period…When You Have Lyme Disease”! Shall we begin, Borrelia? Here we go, in no particular order:

1. Lose 5 lbs. Ha. That’s easy. 6 antibiotic pills a day should do the trick.

2. Make dinner. Hmmm. I’m  good at short cuts. Let’s see, there is “Paris Night”–baguette, cheese, grapes. oooh lala mama! There’s nacho night. Tortialla chips. Shredded Cheese. Microwave, 30 seconds. Done. Way to go mamacita, right Borrelia? Breakfast night helps. Pancakes. With peanut butter, makes it a meal. Make your own salad night. Make your own sandwhich night. Make your own taco night. See a trend?

3. Clean house. Oh that’s easy too. Fabric bins. Like this one . All over the house. All you need to do is throw sh&t in them and your house looks clean. Bins for school bags and sweatshirts.  Bins for wii games and accessories. Bins for stuffed animals. Bins for legos. Bins for books and magazines! Bin there, done that!!

4. Entertain.  My friends call me The Ten o’clock Tyrant. Guess what? If you haven’t left by 10 p.m. I’m going to bed anyway. I don’t care. I’m TIRED with a capital T. Well least I tell them upfront, Borrelia. Love you, but you are outta here at 10. S-h-a-r-p. Leave the wine. xxoo Good thing they love me too.

5. School Field Trips. Fake it. Tell the teacher it’s the kid who has to pee AGAIN, not you. And good lord, whatever you do, don’t leave without the GPS.  Your brain fog may be worse after a day with 22 four-year olds.

6. Play Dates. Always and only at 10:00 am. Play for 2 hours.  Then lunch and nap with your toddler. That’s how I got through the toddler years, no other way!

7.  Work Trips. Tell no one your real flight arrangements or conference schedule. That way you can squeeze in a power nap at the hotel, at any given time. 3 hour exhibit hall stint that afternoon? Take a “conference call” back at the room….

8. Shopping. Choose one store. Fits? By 5 pairs. Different colors an option, not a must. You’re done. Works for shoes, jeans, suit jackets, trouser pants. I can spend $500 bucks easy in a 3×3 section of Express.  That’s what I call efficient. And energy sparing!

9. Finish a Book. Sorry. Can’t help you with that one. Too tired and too short of an attention span.

10. Finish a Movie. Oops. Sorry. Can’t help there either. Haven’t finished a movie in 3 years. Just can’t stay awake. No Avatar or Hunger Games for me.

11. Run a 5K. Shuffle a 5K. Or should the mood hit you, electric slide it.

12. Help Son with School Project. You know that birdhouse he built with his Dad at Home Depot, Borrelia? Let’s cut a hole in the roof. Paint it. And call it his Valentine’s card box, eh?

13. Xmas Shopping. One word:  Amazon. Two other words: Gift card. Three other words: No wrapping! Bags!

14. Plan Daughter’s Birthday. Oh, honey. That’s what Build-a-Bear is for.

15. Laundry. Separate? Sort? HA! That’s funny! No, I don’t think so….

16. Clean My Office: One file and one file only. File 13. Oh, looky. The desk is clean now. Mission Accomplished.

17. Dictate. Leave yourself voice memos on your iphone. About all the Sh&t you have to do. Or to buy grapes and cheese for Paris night (refer to #2)

18. Take Notes. On your forearm, preferably. That way it won’t rub off when you wash your hands. Forget the stickies. Because you will literally forget where you put the stickies.

19. Go iPhone Calendar Crazy. Use it until you are convinced it is going to combust with all the reminders and events you fill it up with. Birthday parties, meetings, girls nights, work trips, workouts, medicine times, Dr. Oz, Shark Week.  All of it.

20. Storytime. Nothing like having to read a pile of story books to two young kids at the end of a long day…unless you come up with family reading time. What a privelege to read on mommy and daddy’s bed to yourself  during this new, quiet time bedtime routine!

21. Host a Superbowl Party. Open red beans with can opener. Repeat with black and white beans, canned corn and tomatoes. Add pre-chopped convenience packed onions and celery. Sprinkle with chili powder. Then cumin. Turn on crockpot. Touchdown.

22. Walk. Like an Egyptian. Yeah, exercise hurts sometimes. But walk if you can, even with that pained, stiff, twisted, pinched back. Even if you look like an Egyptian. Cuz moving means strengthening and strengthening defeats you little by little, Borrelia.

23. Sit Through a School Talent Show. Bring your four year old. Leave during the 36th act (with 15 to go) because it is HER bedtime.

24. Go Grocery Shopping. Of all things, I think this one takes ALL my strength. I perimeter shop. Keeping it simple and as quick as I can. Daring to venture mid aisle only for the coffee. Of course.

25. Get Guiltless Downtime. PBS, Animal Planet, Discovery…yeah, educational stuff the kids can watch while Mom closes her eyes on the couch! Okay. I’m guilty of setting them in front of the occasional Star Wars marathon. Occasionally.

26. Quality Time With the Kids. Let the couch games begin! I spy? Mother May I? Simon Says? Charades? Taking “movies” with the iphone video cam? It can all be done while resting on the couch.

27. Stay Sane. This is a tough one. But find like minded people. Or should I say lyme minded people? Is that an oxymoron? Anyway, like Tired of Lyme. Like Lyme Friends Understand. Like The Tick That Bit Me. Like Lyme Disease Cure Please. Like Lyme Bytes. Like the 3B’s of Lyme. Like Lyme Chick. Like Team Lyme. And all the other great lyme bloggers and facebook page holders out there that have their own voice and story to share! For the good of all of us!

See Borrelia? We CAN manage. We can manage to get Sh&t done despite all your Sh&t. Here’s to all my lymies who get Sh&t done and for all of you right now that struggle to get Sh&t done. Keep up the fight! And for anyone who wishes to add #28, 29, 30 and so on…feel free to keep the conversation going right here! I know you have your own ways to get Sh&t done!